Mother in Law

“Aiyoo, why are you doing this chutney like this? You should always put garlic, dont forgot from now on, ok?”

After some months

“Adada, todays chutney is tasting so good. From now on, you should make this chutney in this way only”

* * *

My MIL is 38 years older than me. So that equates to a double generation gap. What I say and follow is way different than what she believes and does. There is no instance where we do not have a difference of opinion. Right from how to make the food to how to organize the pooja room to how to serve the guests to how to choose sarees for gifting to how to raise children. With time, I learnt to respect her point of view and started doing stuff in a way which made her see and understand my point of view, eventually settling down for the best point of view 😀

She is a firm believer of cooking more than what is actually required. If four persons have to eat rice, after the meal is over, two people can eat the leftover rice, that much extra she will cook. Now I am opposite. My serving bowls will be empty when all have been fed. I told her umpteen times to keep the rice as per the requirement, but she would always say we can use the leftover rice the next day and recycle it. It so happened that the few times when I cooked the rice, she noted how there was no leftovers and everyone always ate hot rice, instead of re-heating and eating the old one. Now the situation is such that when we have ten people for dinner, she will only ask me to cook the rice.

It took me long to understand her saree preferences. It used to break my heart when she used to give away the sarees I bought for her, to her sister who simply loved my selections. The choices she makes on prints and colors, I would never go for them. When one day I was looking through the haul which she and the rest of the ladies had looted from a saree shop for an occasion, I made peace with the fact that her liking’s are different. Not just with me, but with the rest of the ladies too. When everyone went for bright colors with thick borders, she opted for a dull colors with thin borders. It suited her small and petite frame.

She likes me to load on gold for any wedding we have to attend, while I hate it. I wear one bangle and a watch, skip on heavy chains and opt for a single long chain. She still does not like it, but I compensate by looking after the brood which makes her and the rest of the clan concentrate on the wedding 😛

* *

Happy Sankrati all you lovely people 🙂 We are celebrating Pongal tomorrow and right now we two are in deep discussion whether to make sakkarai pongal with sugar or jaggery 😆 😆


30 thoughts on “Mother in Law

  1. Loved this post Visha 🙂 Difference of opinion and MIL-DIL is the mother of all combos. The thing is, if we make peace with certain things, then our life becomes easier.

    Sakkarai pongal always with jaggery I say! 😀

  2. Ditto with me and my MIL.. only difference she chooses bright colours and I choose dull colours 🙂 and same applies to me and my Amma also.. 🙂
    Happy Pongal to you and your family 🙂

  3. Tell me about it! I am not sure but the age difference between me and my MIL is more than 40. So I know what you mean. But she has started leaving things to me these days.
    Does the discussion include, how to send pongal to Deea in Delhi?
    Happy pongal 😃

  4. I am in a nuclear family but from what I have gathered about my personality and my mil’s I believe this would be the case for me when we get to live with my in-laws. I wish and hope I would have the maturity to handle the situation as you do.

  5. Hats off for being so understanding and mature about this. I too would have felt hurt about the sari thing. As for cooking , raising kids etc, in the short period my MIL came to stay with us, we had a ton of disagreements. I am not a very adjusting person I guess. Lots to learn from this post for me.

  6. Almost same stories everywhere 🙂 as long as things are under control all is to laugh at.

    But you know I’ve come to realise that MIL is the person who shows you that perspective which you’ve never thought of so it’s kind of an addition of a view in our lives to have 🙂

Would love to read your views :)

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