….continued from here
It was less of a rush and more of a clockwork timetable during the initial days of working in Sydney. I remember keeping alarms in my phone such as “Wake up Moo“, “Leave home” and “5 min to train“. We all used to leave home together, while Moo would be dropped off to the daycare by her dad, I would be on the way to station to catch the train to work. I have this thing fixed in mind that come what may, I should not be late to work. So on the days I missed my usual train because I got delayed by some reason in the morning, I would walk double my pace to reach office earlier, after getting off the train – invariably leaving me huffing and puffing by the time I reach my desk.
It continued even after I changed jobs when a better opportunity came along. Now I had to take two trains to reach my office. We decided I would do the drop in the morning and Zack would pick up Moo, since train delays were common in the evening rush hour. The daycare charged late fees if we would be even 5 minutes late. Morning rush took a new meaning altogether. Prepare our lunches, wake up Moo, give her a bath, get her ready, breakfast for her, packing up and leaving home at sharp 8, dropping her by 8:15, running to the station to catch the train in ten minutes – this was the schedule for all weekdays for close to 1.5 years. There had been so many days where I forgot to carry my lunch bag while leaving home 🙂
Evenings would be no different. I reached home at 7 and dinner would have to be ready by 8 so that Moo is fed and done and put to sleep by 9. I could never have a clean home or an empty laundry basket. Because I valued my rest over the household chores. Sudden visitors to our house on weekdays would meet with toys all around the living room, dining table filled with all kinds of edible and non edible stuff, the sofa would be dumped with crayons, sheets, papers, what not. Laundry would be done twice a week and all the clothes would be folded and ironed on Sunday evenings.
The day I realised that I am not letting Moo have a peaceful breakfast and a slow, relished, normal walk to the daycare is the day I still remember. I felt sorry for her actually. I am making her rush so much! It was not like I woke her up late, but she would be up and would want me to cuddle her for a long time. Then when it was bath time she would want me to pretend play or have me listen to her story. She would want to pick up her clothes by herself and wear it – slowly. I would be yelling it is getting late while she would be leisurely looking at the mirror asking how does she look 🙂 I realised what she actually wanted was to spend time with me – because in the daily schedule, we would hardly get two hours to be with each other. The realisation hit hard and I decided I need to put a stop to the rush.
The one person who benefitted more than me when I quit was of course the darling daughter. I continued sending her to daycare because she loved being with her teachers and friends there and honestly I felt I could do with the spare time just for myself. It took lots of decision making to put down the papers because financially we had to know if it was for good or worse. But as it always happens with me, my gut feeling won over the logic. We decided money will be second, time will be first.
Moo would still wake up at the same time, but we would talk and lot and do all the things she wanted at her leisure. The gift of time was surreal. It still is. For a month it was all about catching up lots of YouTube videos, movies, books, lounging, napping, organising and cooking. We walked at our own pace talking about how trains work and why cars have red lights. I picked her up in the evenings and we baked together! It was glorious seven weeks that I spent with the kid doing all things she wanted and all things I enjoyed.
We left for our vacation just before Christmas fully relaxed and ready to hop, shop and travel. Moo started kindergarten two days after we came back from our trip. The school here starts at 9 and finishes at 3. I am thankful its not rushed mornings – yet. We have a leisure cuddle filled mornings, long breakfast and a 15 min walk to school. We also meet a cat on our way daily whom we have named Timmy.
And I wish to continue the same – slow, relaxed, happy mornings. Hopefully I land a job which allows me to 🙂