On gifting and being tired

Is the day well spent when I am physically exhausted? Or did the weather trick me today? I am feeling as if a weight is sitting on my shoulders 👀😳

It’s been insanely humid and it’s going to get hotter in the next three days. A long weekend in the sweltering heat is not what we expected but guess we will be doing lots of popsicles in the afternoons.

We did some shopping for Moo’s school which starts next week. And some birthday gift shopping for a boy who is turning 1. I asked his mum this morning if they have something in mind as a ‘to-buy’ in the coming days/ weeks when she said no.

Her: Please don’t get toys we don’t have any more space.

Me: That’s the reason I ask, want to give something which he uses instead of an unwanted item.

Her: No, you come to wish him that is enough

Me: Do you read to him at night

Her: That would be the best thing

Me: Sorted – I’ll get books he can engage with.

I end up gifting book sets for kids aged 8 and above but for younger ones it’s always some toys. This year I decided to stop gifting mindlessly and checking if the parents/ host have something in mind which they have been meaning to buy. If they refuse to share I’ll go with reading / activity books or experience vouchers.

We didn’t end up doing much today. Went shopping an hour after lunch and came back before evening tea. If I find the exact reason of my tiredness, I will share with you tomorrow.

Special days

Special days like anniversaries and birthdays paint a bright picture which includes celebrations, laughter and of course food 😉

I was accustomed to seeing this image when I was single. Agreed – it would be simple, without much fan-fare and parties, there would be no cake cutting when I was with my parents – birthdays were still special – awesome food the whole day, outing and pampering the whole day long 😀

But thanks to my erratic family-in-law, discussing about this picture or implementing this makes me an outcast and a laughing-stock in my family.

How you ask?

On any special day like a birthday or someone’s anniversary, I will be very happy, visualising everyone discussing the ‘special’ day. When I see no one even mentioning the event, I will ask out aloud, it’s so and so’s birthday/anniversary, have you all forgotten or what. I will get bewildered looks and an answer nevertheless, Oh is it, we forgot about it completely, good that we have you who has a good memory. Zack will be beaming seeing his wife getting complimented while I will be at loss of words. I wont get the gist and continue foolishly, So what is the gift and where is the party. There will be laughter echoing throughout the house. What are we, little kids? No party and all, we will go to the temple and that’s it. 

Now don’t get me wrong, folks who are over 50 telling this to me is completely understandable. But I had to hear this from

  • my brother-in-law on his 8th marriage anniversary ( I’ll be honest – this is somewhat acceptable since he is 35)
  •  from my dear hubby on his 28th birthday ( I had married him exactly 18 days ago, so I thought for my sake he is willing to keep it simple, since I was new to the city and he did not wish to have me wander off to buy a surprise gift or arrange a get-together and get lost)
  • from my niece on her 11th birthday.This was a true face-palm event for me. While I asked her mom as to why she is acting like a 65-year-old granny, I was told they had celebrated the 10th birthday in a grand way and they are now waiting for another 7 years to make her 18th year a special one. Small joy indeed – said my mind 🙂

So after a lot of observations and permutations/combinations of the ages,I came to this conclusion. With my family-in-law, days like birthdays and anniversaries of over 25’s are strictly restricted to a visit to the temple early in the morning. For under 10’s, it is a cake cutting ceremony and a dinner on a weekend irrespective of which day the birthday falls. For the rest of the souls, that is over 10’s and under 25’s – it is either a mix of both or one or the other.

I do not have any grudge against getting up early and going to the temple, but on special days, there should be something which is out of routine. Like a movie or shopping or an elaborate dinner at home. My family-in-law did not see a radical nutcase like me with them for a long time. Hence when I brought about some changes in the way special days are celebrated, it was not met with appreciation at first, but slowly it was accepted 🙂

Zack’s 29th birthday was celebrated with a visit to the temple early in the morning (  the family will ostracize me if this is avoided ), since it was a working day – what all I had planned had to be done in the night only. So we cut a nice cake at about 10 in the night, followed by gifts and yummy dinner.

Pineapple flavour

Pineapple and litchi cake

Now it also does not help when yours truly has a number of special days apart from birthdays and anniversaries. I am such a weirdo that I will go on looking for something notable which is worth celebrating on any given day. In my defence, I would say since it is already a hectic life, why not go out looking for small joys and bring out some cheer.

Did I hear someone say – typical girlie stuff  ? You bet 😛

When I gifted Zack a huge rose on the morning of our first-meet-anniversary, he was shocked beyond words.

( what-the-hell-is today look )  “What is this Visha”

( beaming to the core )  “Happy meet anniversary Zack”

Is she out-of-her-mind look )  “Happy whaatt??”

( as if I am explaining him the obvious )  “Meet anniversary dear..today is the day we met for the first time”

struck by a hammer look )  “Is it..ok ok..”

And so it has been for a number of small anniversaries. The day I came to his house, the day I wrote him the first email, etc..etc..

Zack: How come you manage to remember all those dates?

Me: Dunno how, it just stays. Something special to celebrate on a seemingly routine and normal day. What say?

Zack: Haha, that’s so true dear.

Incidentally, today is also an anniversary. This day, two years ago, he called me for the first time. When I wrote to him about this in his daily morning email, this is his reply – Happy talking anniversary… 🙂