Library visit

I thought it would be a good idea to take the kids to the library this afternoon. Boo loves being out of the house and after her vaccination shots earlier this week I thought it would cheer her up. I got the girls ready once Moo came from school and set off with some snacks and water. In high hopes that I get some free time to read of my own. Or browse around.

What happened was exactly opposite of what I envisaged in my mind. Boo went berserk. She hasn’t been to a library before and started pulling off all the books within her reach in the children’s section. Peeling her away from there I took her to the young reader’s area where Moo was browsing. Boo won’t let Moo look around the books in peace, keeping her foot on top of her sister’s and ‘suggesting’ books to read. I took her away and plonked open a giant picture book for her to see but she only had eyes for her akka and sped to her.

Moo chose four books and we quickly left the building. I don’t know why or how did I get the idea of taking Boo to the library of all places. My subconscious mind needs servicing.

On my mind

Some days I end up thinking existential stuff like if what I do is good enough? As a wife and mother. For my own self. I have a checklist in my mind with regards to baby Boo and Moo but I see only few of them ticked off. And hardly any if it comes to personal care. Where am I lacking? Yesterday so many things went wrong that I went down the rabbit hole of blaming myself with ‘if only’. Mind says a reset is needed. Heart says this is the effect of one day going wrong.

What are the things I want to do in a day?

Exercise.

Drink 3l of water.

Go for a walk.

Read to the kids.

Tidy up living areas.

Oil and comb my hair.

Cook healthy instead of shortcuts.

Tidy kids play area.

Follow a skin care routine before bed.

I end up doing zero exercise, no tangible water intake, walk for 10 minutes, no tidying up at all, no oiling/combing and taking care of skin and I cook once in the morning for the day with every imaginable shortcut and hardly any special baby food. Boo eats thawed frozen veggies thrice a week 🤭, I follow BLW and she hasn’t yet taken into eating all the family foods and her intake is dismal. I mean her akka used to eat a bowl full of dal rice at her age when fed and this one runs away happily after picking what she can fit in her palm once or twice. I know no two babies are same but rationality is taking a backseat. Moo is getting independent in many aspects but I feel I am not giving her attention off late. She is growing up too fast too soon. Pretty sure all these thoughts are passing clouds and I will get my head out of them soon, but while they are there they make me question everything 🤷‍♀️

The one where I think if this is real life

I feel a sudden change in the kids behaviour. It’s as if they have grown up overnight. Moo came home from school today and showed me what all homework needs to be done. She said she wants a break and then get started on it. She did exactly that, proceeded to finish all of her homework and created a makeshift ice cream shop using a pillow and two chairs replete with a menu and a lego block of ice creams while I was putting Boo to her evening nap. All this without a sound so as to not to disturb us 😭 She even gave me a receipt for ordering a mini strawberry in a cup and asked me to throw the used cup in a bin to keep her shop clean 👀

And her sister is following suit. Today after her morning nap she was playing all by herself without making any noise or sound while I was in the kitchen. She usually lets out a cry when she opens her eyes but today was playing nonchalantly even after an eye contact with me. She will turn 11 months in ten days and already acts like a one year old.

Who exchanged my babies 😳😳😳

Is this a one off ‘good-behaviour-in-kids’ day? Or the calm before the storm 😩