No it’s not his birthday today

Today I feel like talking about the guy in the house. Earlier days of blogging I used to mention him a lot, every other day I think, but it would be more around us instead of him. This might sound very sappy so be warned.

Zack is a people’s person. I have never met anyone who doesn’t like to talk to him or be his friend. He will go above and beyond for someone whom we just met in the lift. Or the grocery aisle. Helping someone load stuff into their car during a walk or lending a hand to lift something heavy for the movers and packers. He is a part of god-knows-how-many whatsapp and facebook groups. And in every group he has a reliable circle. His office colleagues are now more than family to ours. Within family he endeavours to maintain relations with distant as well as close relatives with equal fervour. He can talk for ages when we have friends over, crack LOL jokes and be the perfect host to make everyone in the room comfortable. Like when he notices someone tugging at their jacket he will first put on the room heater, if other people in the room say they are hot he will go get a small heater and make sure the jacket person feels warm enough.

I can leave it here but I want to be honest with myself. This is the only place where I speak my mind without caring about any kind of judgement.

We have been married long enough to know each other’s personalities in and out. In earlier days I felt I shouldn’t be his partner. There is not a single common trait between us. I am an out and out introvert. I cannot make friends like him. If there is a discussion I never speak unless I am asked my opinion. This list can go on and on…my point being we are polar opposites in our personalities. He is a complete opposite person when it comes to husband-wife dynamic, so far away from the outgoing social profile. The morphing into a silent, brooding personality which I took long to fathom and accept. Me becoming the talkative one when it is just us two when he goes silent. We probably might be a good case study for opposites attract but trust me the attraction bit is irrelevant. His first and foremost and forever attraction and love is biryani.

Anyhoo, leaving you guys with one thing that stood out in the second year of our marriage which has stayed with me till date is this conversation between him and his sister. Niece, FIL, MIL and I were in the audience.

Her: Whose happiness do you think is more important, parents or wife.

Him: Both are equally important for everyone to be happy.

Her: If you had to choose between the two?

Him ( without missing a beat): Wife. Parents will be there only for some more years. Wife will be the one with me for whole life.

That time, I wondered what made him say that.

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I still wonder what made him say that.

Just thinking..

One of the realisations which happened in the past year was how much we crave the comfort of the daily routine. But also how lucky to be surrounded with family. No matter how much we are worn out and tired with constant company without them surviving and still living through this pandemic would have been so so difficult for our mental health. 

We have never been attuned to living with anyone constantly no matter what era. Family members would go out for work, kids would play outdoors or be at school, temple visits and meetings for the elderly – people are accustomed to be in the company of non-family people. So when the pandemic threw us to be constantly in the middle of people we call family it sure took some adjustment, acceptance, frustration, whining, crying and loads of patience to make it through. 

But how would isolation be when you are living alone? Sure there are different ways of keeping oneself occupied – music, movies, books, painting and various other hobbies. Video calls to see and talk. Does it replace the feeling of talking one on one to a certain extent? I hope so! 

I have an aunt whom I haven’t met in the past 11 years. She is a divorcée and has lived alone for the past 40 years. I keep getting news of her from the family but haven’t been in touch with her personally. Today I have been thinking about her since morning – how living alone in this pandemic and isolation would have affected her. Hope the world goes back to normal soon. 🤞🤞🤞

On a lighter vein, Moo is on a video call with her school mates ( two of them ) since more than an hour and the three of them are playing Hangman on paper ( don’t ask how). One of them screamed – guys I need to go to the toilet, keep the man hanging till I am back 😅

Slow

I have been taking things slow since half a year. This also coincides with me turning 30 since half a year. Have I turned wiser? Probably not. But I have slowed down for sure.

Throughout my journey in the corporate world, it has been a rush. Rushed mornings, rushed deadlines, rushed evenings and as a result no time to stand and stare ( but of course). Before I moved to Bangalore, I worked for an IT firm for 18 months. I had rushed mornings then because I used to sleep late reading books. I would wolf down the breakfast and dash to my office, which was a 15 minute walk from home. Evenings were a bit relaxed then, in the sense I would eagerly want to go back home to dinner at 8 and plonk myself in my room with my book again.

As I shifted to Bangalore, I spent about two weeks being jobless before finding a job because somehow the chaos within and outside the house was comforting. I rushed again to catch the early morning bus to avoid long traffic, rushed to get work done because I was eager to prove myself, rushed to get the seat in the bus back to home and rushed to make dinner because growling tummy you see. The only time to sit back and enjoy the dust tinted views would have to be inside the bus. If you got the seat. Such competition for the place to rest your bum for 90 minutes 🙂

When I became a mum, the rush would be around getting things done so that I spend enough time with the baby. Always on the move, on the go. Eating, cleaning, cooking, folding laundry – all in a rush. I would finish everything just so that Moo could have my full attention. Hardly could achieve that, but I wont beat myself for it, I tried my best 🙂

I started working full time again when Moo turned a year and 3 months old. Of course I had to rush for everything as usual. Making sure she is bathed and fed before leaving for office. Packing the lunch boxes for us. Finish up everything in the evening and rush back home in the mad traffic. Cook, feed, burp, put to sleep and the works. It was a timetable on wheels which I could not stop.

When we told the family about moving to Sydney my sisters-in-law commented about the abundance of time I would have. “Work life balance would be great, enjoy, enjoy”. Little did I know how wrong it would be..

 

(to be continued)

(unable to finish this post because I have to make lunch now and hungry should remain hungry not become hangry, right? right? )