No it’s not his birthday today

Today I feel like talking about the guy in the house. Earlier days of blogging I used to mention him a lot, every other day I think, but it would be more around us instead of him. This might sound very sappy so be warned.

Zack is a people’s person. I have never met anyone who doesn’t like to talk to him or be his friend. He will go above and beyond for someone whom we just met in the lift. Or the grocery aisle. Helping someone load stuff into their car during a walk or lending a hand to lift something heavy for the movers and packers. He is a part of god-knows-how-many whatsapp and facebook groups. And in every group he has a reliable circle. His office colleagues are now more than family to ours. Within family he endeavours to maintain relations with distant as well as close relatives with equal fervour. He can talk for ages when we have friends over, crack LOL jokes and be the perfect host to make everyone in the room comfortable. Like when he notices someone tugging at their jacket he will first put on the room heater, if other people in the room say they are hot he will go get a small heater and make sure the jacket person feels warm enough.

I can leave it here but I want to be honest with myself. This is the only place where I speak my mind without caring about any kind of judgement.

We have been married long enough to know each other’s personalities in and out. In earlier days I felt I shouldn’t be his partner. There is not a single common trait between us. I am an out and out introvert. I cannot make friends like him. If there is a discussion I never speak unless I am asked my opinion. This list can go on and on…my point being we are polar opposites in our personalities. He is a complete opposite person when it comes to husband-wife dynamic, so far away from the outgoing social profile. The morphing into a silent, brooding personality which I took long to fathom and accept. Me becoming the talkative one when it is just us two when he goes silent. We probably might be a good case study for opposites attract but trust me the attraction bit is irrelevant. His first and foremost and forever attraction and love is biryani.

Anyhoo, leaving you guys with one thing that stood out in the second year of our marriage which has stayed with me till date is this conversation between him and his sister. Niece, FIL, MIL and I were in the audience.

Her: Whose happiness do you think is more important, parents or wife.

Him: Both are equally important for everyone to be happy.

Her: If you had to choose between the two?

Him ( without missing a beat): Wife. Parents will be there only for some more years. Wife will be the one with me for whole life.

That time, I wondered what made him say that.

.

.

.

.

.

I still wonder what made him say that.

Shooting bullets today

  1. So many of the blogs I follow are marked as private now. And even sending request invites have no response. Probably they forgot their login credentials? Happened with me so cannot rule that out. I want to at least read the archives 😢
  2. I am successful with meal planning. But sitting down and planning out the meal for the coming week is more time consuming than cooking a meal itself.
  3. I am going on regular walks since I started my new job. My office is situated on a hilly terrain so it has a combination of inclined steep, downward slope giving full workout to the body.
  4. This weekend we have a playdate cum dinner invite. The host has invited one other family as well. Do not want to go empty handed but if I cook something and take along, will they mind?
  5. I do not know for what reason do I have String hopper rice flour in my pantry. I probably bought it thinking will make idiyappams but seem to only stick to dosa for breakfasts.
  6. I have started journaling online. Want to see how long can I keep it up. For now have posted 8 days straight.
  7. Winters have started officially from June but we are having warm sunny days off late.
  8. I think I should get a new phone but then push that thought away because my current one is working perfectly fine, why to replace something which is not faulty.
  9. There are lots of talks about sustainability and sustainable products online these days, my two cents is if you do not purchase anything new you save your bank balance as well as the planet 😀 😀
  10. WordPress stats show that I have a couple of readers from USA and three from India. Thank you for reading folks, love you ❤
  11. I clicked on the Analytics section of WordPress and found the old blogposts which got maximum hits, reading through the comments made me feel poignant and nostalgic. Such a thriving community I was part of, shame I could not be regular.
  12. Did I tell you we went whale watching past weekend? We are planning for one more before the winter ends.

Slow – 2

….continued from here

It was less of a rush and more of a clockwork timetable during the initial days of working in Sydney. I remember keeping alarms in my phone such as “Wake up Moo“, “Leave home” and “5 min to train“. We all used to leave home together, while Moo would be dropped off to the daycare by her dad, I would be on the way to station to catch the train to work. I have this thing fixed in mind that come what may, I should not be late to work. So on the days I missed my usual train because I got delayed by some reason in the morning, I would walk double my pace to reach office earlier, after getting off the train – invariably leaving me huffing and puffing by the time I reach my desk.

It continued even after I changed jobs when a better opportunity came along. Now I had to take two trains to reach my office. We decided I would do the drop in the morning and Zack would pick up Moo, since train delays were common in the evening rush hour. The daycare charged late fees if we would be even 5 minutes late. Morning rush took a new meaning altogether. Prepare our lunches, wake up Moo, give her a bath, get her ready, breakfast for her, packing up and leaving home at sharp 8, dropping her by 8:15, running to the station to catch the train in ten minutes – this was the schedule for all weekdays for close to 1.5 years. There had been so many days where I forgot to carry my lunch bag while leaving home 🙂

Evenings would be no different. I reached home at 7 and dinner would have to be ready by 8 so that Moo is fed and done and put to sleep by 9. I could never have a clean home or an empty laundry basket. Because I valued my rest over the household chores. Sudden visitors to our house on weekdays would meet with toys all around the living room, dining table filled with all kinds of edible and non edible stuff, the sofa would be dumped with crayons, sheets, papers, what not. Laundry would be done twice a week and all the clothes would be folded and ironed on Sunday evenings.

The day I realised that I am not letting Moo have a peaceful breakfast and a slow, relished, normal walk to the daycare is the day I still remember. I felt sorry for her actually. I am making her rush so much! It was not like I woke her up late, but she would be up and would want me to cuddle her for a long time. Then when it was bath time she would want me to pretend play or have me listen to her story. She would want to pick up her clothes by herself and wear it – slowly. I would be yelling it is getting late while she would be leisurely looking at the mirror asking how does she look 🙂 I realised what she actually wanted was to spend time with me – because in the daily schedule, we would hardly get two hours to be with each other. The realisation hit hard and I decided I need to put a stop to the rush.

The one person who benefitted more than me when I quit was of course the darling daughter. I continued sending her to daycare because she loved being with her teachers and friends there and honestly I felt I could do with the spare time just for myself. It took lots of decision making to put down the papers because financially we had to know if it was for good or worse. But as it always happens with me, my gut feeling won over the logic. We decided money will be second, time will be first.

Moo would still wake up at the same time, but we would talk and lot and do all the things she wanted at her leisure. The gift of time was surreal. It still is. For a month it was all about catching up lots of YouTube videos, movies, books, lounging, napping, organising and cooking. We walked at our own pace talking about how trains work and why cars have red lights. I picked her up in the evenings and we baked together! It was glorious seven weeks that I spent with the kid doing all things she wanted and all things I enjoyed.

We left for our vacation just before Christmas fully relaxed and ready to hop, shop and travel. Moo started kindergarten two days after we came back from our trip. The school here starts at 9 and finishes at 3. I am thankful its not rushed mornings – yet. We have a leisure cuddle filled mornings, long breakfast and a 15 min walk to school. We also meet a cat on our way daily whom we have named Timmy.

And I wish to continue the same – slow, relaxed, happy mornings. Hopefully I land a job which allows me to 🙂