No it’s not his birthday today

Today I feel like talking about the guy in the house. Earlier days of blogging I used to mention him a lot, every other day I think, but it would be more around us instead of him. This might sound very sappy so be warned.

Zack is a people’s person. I have never met anyone who doesn’t like to talk to him or be his friend. He will go above and beyond for someone whom we just met in the lift. Or the grocery aisle. Helping someone load stuff into their car during a walk or lending a hand to lift something heavy for the movers and packers. He is a part of god-knows-how-many whatsapp and facebook groups. And in every group he has a reliable circle. His office colleagues are now more than family to ours. Within family he endeavours to maintain relations with distant as well as close relatives with equal fervour. He can talk for ages when we have friends over, crack LOL jokes and be the perfect host to make everyone in the room comfortable. Like when he notices someone tugging at their jacket he will first put on the room heater, if other people in the room say they are hot he will go get a small heater and make sure the jacket person feels warm enough.

I can leave it here but I want to be honest with myself. This is the only place where I speak my mind without caring about any kind of judgement.

We have been married long enough to know each other’s personalities in and out. In earlier days I felt I shouldn’t be his partner. There is not a single common trait between us. I am an out and out introvert. I cannot make friends like him. If there is a discussion I never speak unless I am asked my opinion. This list can go on and on…my point being we are polar opposites in our personalities. He is a complete opposite person when it comes to husband-wife dynamic, so far away from the outgoing social profile. The morphing into a silent, brooding personality which I took long to fathom and accept. Me becoming the talkative one when it is just us two when he goes silent. We probably might be a good case study for opposites attract but trust me the attraction bit is irrelevant. His first and foremost and forever attraction and love is biryani.

Anyhoo, leaving you guys with one thing that stood out in the second year of our marriage which has stayed with me till date is this conversation between him and his sister. Niece, FIL, MIL and I were in the audience.

Her: Whose happiness do you think is more important, parents or wife.

Him: Both are equally important for everyone to be happy.

Her: If you had to choose between the two?

Him ( without missing a beat): Wife. Parents will be there only for some more years. Wife will be the one with me for whole life.

That time, I wondered what made him say that.

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I still wonder what made him say that.

Tech-ache

With the advent of numerous devices to stay constantly connected to the virtual world, it has drastically reduced the couple time between us. The other times when we could have spent quality time together invariably end up with discussions of the daughter – what she did, her latest tantrums, etc..etc.. It is not quite uncommon for us to exchange WhatsApp chats like “Has the dragon slept?” even when we are a room apart. Zack comes in home at 9:30 and Moo vehemently refuses to go to sleep unless she had her fair share of daddy time. By the time she falls asleep which is around 11, Zack goes neck deep in his laptop in the melee of catching up with news, movies and when not doing all of these things – WhatsApp-ing. His office has such an internet policy which debars him from using social media and basically accessing all things which can be classified under time-pass.

Before we owned the laptop and internet at home, we used to do stuff together- like talk about what happened at work, who got hitched, good vacation spots, family functions..you get the drift. But that was the time before we had Moo. With her arrival, the equations have changed completely. There is a lot more me-time than us-time. From the time Moo wakes up, Zack looks after her till he leaves for work – making her eat breakfast, taking her for walks, putting her to sleep and playing with her. During that time, I finish the household work, cooking, cleaning and sit down for some time reading the newspapers. At night, when I am done with all the work and ready to make the little dragon go to sleep, he leaves us two to ourselves. I cherish this period which I spend with Moo. I (try to) tell her stories, play peekaboo, sing lullabies and finally when she is tired, she comes to me and sleeps on my lap. I am half asleep by the time all the lights are switched off. I was not this tired at the end of the day when Moo was still an infant. Once she started walking, there is not a place which has been undiscovered by her, which does not involve pulling things and throwing them all around, eating and putting all things in mouth except her food, squealing and running away from me when I find her holding something which is not her toy and I admit it tires me out completely at the end of the day. When I speak about the lack of spending time with Zack, he in his zen mode states – “You should rest when she rests.”

So what I think is if we had no smartphones, laptops, basically no internet, we would find at least some time for ourselves. Thank God for weekends, were we go out together for walks or I would have resorted to changing the internet password 👿 😈

Sum, equation and language

Apart from the money calculations, we really have no use of the maths in our day-to-day lives. But we see the applications of those mathematical formulas in every possible aspect, right from the clocks to the vehicles to the water tap to the food we eat.  So even if we as an individual are not applying those formulas ourselves, at least some one in this world made use of them. We just did not choose to.
Knowledge is interesting, applied knowledge – even more.

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The relationships which we have in our personal and professional lives should be given the due respect. With a boss, you should always behave like a junior even though he/she is your friend. You can discuss whatever you want in the capacity of a friend, but you should not take it out of your mind that the other person is the boss at the end of the day. Likewise, your mother-in-law might be ‘like’ your mother, but that does not give you the freedom to sulk( or shout) the way you do to your mom. The thin line which you feel is ever decreasing, day by day should not be overlooked. That line stays, the respect in the relationship is maintained. Disagree? Well, its my opinion 😀

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It has been a really long time since I wrote something in vernacular. I keep thinking that I will forget the shape of the letters and the grammar. The last time I was in a flight, I spent close to fifteen minutes writing out a small paragraph in Gujarati. That also reminds me, ages ago I read a very engrossing historical fiction in Hindi. It was my first and last read in anything apart from English and boy, how interesting that was. Any recommendations in Hindi literature?