In retrospection

2014 has been a different year for me, different than previous many years. It was the year which i largely spent with myself. And Moo ofcourse. But you get the point. Zack was largely absent throughout this year, and now when i think about it, living apart from him was not that difficult. The first week of March when i left him for my mother’s, i wrote him cheesy letters telling how I cant live even one day without him. In the end, turned out we lived happily without each other for seven months. It was a new kind of life, sleepless nights being the high point. I had lots of time in my hand in the last trimester, i watched long forgotten movies, listened to so many new songs, watched television, went for long, relaxed walks and ate so many old and new dishes. I gained confidence in cooking and started experimenting a lot. After coming back to Bangalore, because of the no maid situation, I learnt to manage my time very well. Handling an infant and running a house – phew, awesome experiences.

Moo. Mommyhood has made me a lot more loving. Even though she keeps me awake the whole night and screams like she is given a third degree torture, I love to see her smile in her sleep, cling to my lap like its the most comforting bed, wrap her tiny little fingers tightly around mine. She does not smile very often, but when she does, she lights up the entire room.

Being a mom has brought many changes to me. Physically, I still resemble a baby hippo, havent been able to lose the extra weight. But then again, I have stopped caring about it. I am loving my free size kurtas like anything, with no tension of not having even a single fitted attire. Shopping online for them is easy too 😀 One neighborhood aunty told me the other day, if I do not start losing weight, I will start looking like an aunty. I said I already am 😆

This year had many issues and misunderstandings with Zack. But in the end, I weigh what is more important. Today or yesterday. Invariably, ‘now’ wins. Letting go has never been more beautiful 🙂

2015 – Welcome!

P.S Taking part in the blogging marathon 2015 hosted by Seema. Hope I complete the challenge!

Latest samachaar

The waiting game has officially begun.

The due date is May 14. My gynec says Moo can enter the world 15 days earlier, also I can be overdue for a week at least.

The summer heat is making my evening walks difficult. Its the only time of the day when I step out and my already limited set of clothes courtesy the expanding belly has exhausted. Since 2 days I have been stepping out in cotton maxis without a care of what will people say ( and where I live, people say a LOT). I waddle like a penguin so I am prime time entertainment for the little ones in the society and seeing them ape me, I laugh crazy.

I have been drinking all kinds of juices to keep myself hydrated in this heat. Only aam panna is left to be relished. Should make that soon.

The society ladies are having fun predicting the gender of Moo by virtue of their God gifted full anatomical X-ray which they do and seem to be adept at. One look is all it takes and they are ready to place bets. I maintain a stoic smile throughout, which makes them add that Moo will be a quiet child 🙄 😯

At last, finally, finally I got hooked on to a book. Matthew Reilly is an old love which I recently found lying quietly in my room in a forgotten shelf, gathering dust. So happy to re-start reading with him.

I had earlier written here about how I would blog daily, but it looks too much of an effort to switch on the laptop and type a post and publish it when there is an alternative option of being in deep slumber like a hippo. So when I get these sudden bouts of energy like today, I will make you read what all is going on okie.

Letter to future me by past me

There will be times when your partner will get to your nerves.

There will be times when you will feel like throwing everything in sight or in mind at your partner.

There will be times when your mind is shouting while your face is devoid of any emotion.

There will be times when you will wonder if the universe conspired to set you up with the rare of the rarest ‘patient’ genes and you start abhorring yourself.

There will be times when you have no clue why your partner has no clue about your state of mind.

There will be times when you will want to speak out your state of mind, when a thought will cross your mind shouting you end up doing it every.single.time.