The one where we learn about Zack’s feelings for……

While cleaning out the wardrobe, every single time I complain to Zack about the number of un-used clothes he has.

“I am going to give away all your old T-shirts, you have so many of them.”

“Ok”

After a few days, the man is furious to see one of those very shirts being used a mop-cloth to clean the house.

“Vishaaaa…you did not have any other piece of cloth? You thought of only this T-shirt?”

“I did ask you the other day, you were ok with it”

“You asked to give them away, not use them like this”

I can see him getting bewildered. I tell him that it was really old and it was of the perfect soft cotton material giving the best results, while maintaining a straight face. Resigned to the fate of this T-shirt, he went back to his work.

“I wish you had chosen any other from that lot, why did you have to choose this one”, he quips.

It was a plain solid dark brown color T-shirt for God’s sake, why did he have to be so touchy about it. He never is. I know I am about to roll my eyes when I hear the answer. And so I ask him.

“It was complimentary with a formal shirt which I bought ages ago, when I first started work.”

I am silent, pleading my brain to understand.

“And I have never worn it ever since. I forgot where I had kept it. And today, after all these years, you had to choose only this particular one, to use as a MOP”

*Silence*

What do I learn from this episode?

Zack’s T-shirts have stories!!

Clash lack

One thought is bothering me for a long time. Especially when I observe other couples around me, amongst friends and family having disagreements with each other, rising decibel levels when they talk, lowered patience levels and to sum it all, having fights.

We never fight.
And I do not know if it is good or bad 😐

I have read many articles* which say fighting couples are in a healthy relationship. The difference of opinion brings them closer. The kinds.

But the most we ‘fight’ is not talk with each other. How is the problem or issue sorted out?One gives in by the way of explaining things calmly while the other listens patiently. The night passes. Morning everything is forgotten and forgiven. And we move on. Bad words and swearing never occur, nor do name-calling.  Shouting at each other will not happen in this lifetime because its loudness makes me cringe.

This morning when we were stuck up at the traffic jam, I was mentioning to Zack how come we never fight with each other, unlike other usual couples. Immediately he said, “But you cried your eyes out two weeks ago”. “Yeah, but it was not your fault”, I shot back. The guy becomes all smug now.”So I am the model husband who never fights with the wife”. “Because you have a very non-confrontational wife”, I explained

So it comes down to this – is it normal amongst guys never to fight or is it me who is having a dysfunctional relationship with the partner 🙄 🙄

*Few links here, here and here

Silence speaketh

If there is one thing which we share much to the amusement of the family is the silence between us.

I could unabashedly term the family as boisterously loud. The sounds and voices can be heard 3 houses down the road. So it came as a surprise to the family that their new daughter-in-law chose to remain quiet most of the times, unless asked. Even after few months when I rarely joined their upbeat gossips of shopping or family functions, they got curious.  Why does she not join us at all, instead of being a smiling statue, would undoubtedly run in their minds

The funny part here is it’s not that I don’t join them out of any kind of aversion. Or tussles. Ok, I will be a bit frank. There is an inherent quality in the family where everyone has to know everything. Me – I usually mind by own business. Coming to the point – I am equally silent with Zack too. Before you think of me as a weirdo, it’s the same with him. Go ahead, you can call us the weird couple 😀

The family has already labelled us that.

Communication is the key to any kind of relationship. More so, for a marriage. Since we hardly spend 4 waking hours with each other, it gets all the more important to talk,share, discuss. Due to our erratic work schedules, the most we are connected to is via the email ecosystem. Most of the stuff which I want to let him know or vice versa, I jot them down and email him, its become a routine for both of us. From money transfer, ticket booking, bill payment to how new neighbour’s dog is making life difficult for me, how the groom seeking process for the third cousin has started – everything is conveyed using technological bytes and bits. So in the end we are in the know as to what is happening with whom in the family. Since he expresses well in writing rather than in words, there is nothing to complain

But strangely, when we do get time with each other, it hardly consists of words. There is a comfortable silence in the air. More like the silence speaks for us. On a typical weekend afternoon, he will be browsing the internet or taking a nap. I maybe reading a book or watching the television. Or trying to save his hairs being plucked out violently by the niece. During the evening walks, 80% of the time spent in walking will be in silence.Both of us don’t know how we landed into such a cycle. But then I bet its the long hours we used to spend on phone before marriage that we are tired to speak now 😛

Now this peculiar nature has warranted enough insecurities in the family. They think we are not happy with each other. 🙄 When they see the other DILs of the house yapping with their partners the moment the latter step into the house, I stand out as an odd person who just raises her head a gives a big smile. With a twinkle in the eyes of course 😀 😀 😀